My confession 21st Dec 2019

My confession 21st Dec 2019 Eugene

 It has been four months down the line for my 2nd year as an apprentice in ministry with iServe Africa and all I can say is that the gospel of Christ is the Key thing, nothing else matters. My heart has not been inclined to the gospel or being exposed to the gospel as such a time as this, all I can sing about is the gospel of Christ, nothing more.

Being at GracePoint church it has been one of the blessings where you hear the gospel of Christ, a place where Christ is exalted more than "the man of god", where we are all sinners and Christ is the savior of us all. One thing I can say or rather the common phrase that we can find here is look to Jesus, come to Christ, behold the lamb of God .All these have been exposing my ignorance and my stubbornness in working with my strength to achieve righteousness that has been imputed to me by Christ. Trying every moment to please me to do this and that in order that I can measure my right standing with. These have yielded to nothing, only vanity of vanities, which has brought about disappointment, lack of joy and doubt that I may not have faith enough, this has cause me to be hard on myself, viewing myself as a failure when I could not achieve that mark.  

Hearing of what Christ has done for me was relieving me from the burden of works to achieve righteousness. Friends it is a joy to know that most of the things written in scriptures are not prescriptive, but rather descriptive of how fallen we are and how we can never succeed in this journey of faith by applying them to our lives directly. Every day it is a journey that I am laying down the baggage I have been carrying either for years or even adopted as I was going on with my Christian walk.

This journey does not take a day or two, but rather takes time being exposed to ‘the bitter truth’ which first seems to be a bitter tablet to swallow, but then with time you start to see the truth as it is and you are able to praise God in heaven. There is nothing l can hold fast on now like knowing that the Bible is about God and His people, Christ being the main figure that we have been given to look at so that we can be saved. The whole canon of scripture points to nothing else but to Christ who is our only savior, as one author of the old writers that is Charles Spergon, says that all roads leads to London so all books in scripture lead to one man, Christ our savior.

Nothing has become real like the fallen state of man, how sinful we are from birth, how we cannot save ourselves from this position of sin and how dark is the darkness that lies deep in our hearts. Though this is the biggest problem I have encountered, I have also encountered a great deliverance that has dealt with that problem that I can see the light. This makes the words of the hymn ‘At the Cross’ to be so real especially the line that says “At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light and the burden of my heart rolled away” this is the truth that shines brightly than the darkness that I was in, that rugged cross that brought my deliverance is the only true things that can hold me, when Jesus was hanged on that cross then my darkness was paid for, my guilt was washed away, all my sins washed away, then joy filled my heart.

I knew of these things, but not in this depth as I can express them today, not with this seriousness that I can say them today, not with this conviction as I have in my heart today. As I can’t say that I have come to that point of saying that now I know this theology very well though I can say that I know enough to hold me even in the day of calamity, as Christ will hold me fast in him than the way I can hold him.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days or days that I don’t have questions to ask when hard things happen. Some days I find myself give in to discouragement, I experience loss which hurts badly though one thing is intact, my faith in Him and even more how He holds me in Him in this moment. I am still young and experience all the things that normal people experience, hardships in our nation, I feel it and it hurts badly, the pain of being misused at times, being jealous and even doing the wrong things a lot of times, I hurt people badly sometime, as I am trying to emulate my Savior.

All these things even give me more reason to look unto Him, go to Him so that He can embrace me and be able to make me whole again, that He can teach how to be a better follower of His, sometimes I even can’t get it the first time or the second but eventually, I will be able to get it as I look unto Him. Though this is not how I want to live, hurting others and mostly my savior, I choose to work hard with the strength He has given through His Spirit in me that I may be better and do the best until I am with Him when He calls me home or when He comes in His 2nd coming.

PRAYER

Lord, help us; help us that we may be those who look up to you in all seasons. Help us that we may strive to live holy lives here in a fallen and broken world which tempts us to prostitute ourselves to it away from you. In ourselves, we are weak beings, not able to resist anything but we pray that you may strengthen our inner man daily with your Spirit that we may be able to fight this battle until the day of the Lord.

Help me that these truths I am learning may remain deep in me at all times, that I may live maximizing all opportunities you have given me so that I may worship you alone. Help your church to remain true to your word, teach Christ alone, for your glory alone, help all the believers to live with these truths in our lives and also reach out to others in every opportunity we have. Amen.